Helping children navigate grief: Insights from Kids Inspire
Last week, in honour of Children’s Grief Awareness Week, our Clinical Director and CEO, Sue Bell OBE DL, was invited by Heart Essex to share her expertise on supporting children affected by grief. During the interview, Sue provided valuable insights into how children process grief and highlighted key behavioural signs that parents and caregivers should watch for if they are unsure of the impact grief might be having on a child.
Sue Bell OBE DL
How do children experience grief?
Grief is a complex and deeply emotional experience, and when children face loss, it can feel overwhelming for them and their families. Unlike adults, children may not always express their grief verbally, but they feel it just as deeply. Their grief often manifests in behavioural changes. For example, younger children may regress developmentally—bed wetting or changes in eating habits can signal distress. In children aged 2-7, “magical thinking” can emerge, where they may believe they caused the death or could have prevented it. This stage can be particularly difficult for children, as they often internalise guilt about the loss.
It’s important to note that children, regardless of their age, understand loss. They may not have the vocabulary or emotional tools to express it, but their emotional turmoil is very real. As Sue points out, even very young children will sense that something is missing and will experience sadness or confusion.
How can parents help children through grief?
Keep communication open with age-appropriate language
During the interview Sue stressed how important communication is. But how do you begin those difficult conversations with your child? The key is to use age appropriate language. Instead of using metaphors like "they’ve gone to sleep," which may confuse or scare the child, explain simply, that the person has stopped breathing and is no longer part of this world. Keeping it honest but gentle is crucial.
Normalise emotions by showing your grief
It’s okay for adults to show their own grief. It’s natural for parents and caregivers to feel emotional. Allowing children to see that adults are affected too can help normalise their feelings. Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and it’s important to let the child know that their emotions are valid.
Maintain routines for security
Grief can make children feel uncertain or unsafe, so having familiar routines helps them regain a sense of security. Whether it’s continuing with school, extracurricular activities, or even just keeping bedtime rituals, maintaining some normality can comfort a grieving child.
Recognising when a child needs extra support
While some children may naturally work through their grief over time, others may show signs of needing additional support.
If behaviours like aggression, withdrawal, or a drop in school performance continue for an extended period, it’s a signal that professional help may be needed. Grief can sometimes manifest in difficult ways, and it’s important to recognise these signs early so that a child can get the help they need.
Sue advises that adults pay attention to shifts in behaviour—whether it’s sudden aggression, a drop in social interactions, or changes in schoolwork. These may be signs that the child has not processed the grief or that the emotional burden is too much to carry alone.
Raising awareness and access to support
Grief can be isolating, and it’s essential to raise awareness about services available to help grieving children and families. In part, this is what ‘Children’s Grief Awareness Week’ does, as it is often organisations that have support services available that will be raising awareness during the week. At Kids Inspire, we know that bereavement services—whether offered by local authorities, hospices, or support groups—are all essential in helping children navigate loss. And that access to these services must be equitable, and not just for those who can afford it.
It’s important to remember that not every child needs therapy immediately. Families need time together to grieve, and some children may eventually feel ready to talk about their feelings with loved ones. But when grief becomes overwhelming, seeking professional support can make a world of difference.
In conclusion
Children’s grief is a complex process that needs to be approached with care, understanding, and honesty. By recognising the signs, having open conversations, and offering support in ways that feel safe and comforting, parents and caregivers can help guide children through this difficult time. At Kids Inspire, we believe that with the right tools, children can process grief healthily and find ways to heal.
If you have any concerns about your child’s grief journey or would like advice on how to best support them, please don’t hesitate to reach out to our team.
Kids Inspire is a children’s mental health charity. We provide free specialist trauma support for children and families who would not otherwise be able to afford it.
Please note: Kids Inspire is not a crisis emergency organisation. Outside of 9am-5pm, if you or your child is at immediate risk, please contact the crisis service related to your concern:
NHS111 Mental Health - Dial 111 and select the option for mental health crisis (24 hours a day)
Emotional Wellbeing Mental Health Service Crisis Team – 0300 555 1201
Family Operations Hub – 0345 606 1212 (weekend line)